Thursday, December 11, 2014

Some Things I Can't Stop Thinking About | Edition One

I try my best to not think too much about the past. What is the point, really? Things are how they are and you cannot change what you have done. However, try as I might, thoughts of the past still creep up from the dustiest corners of my mind and I have come to terms with this. Why fight something that comes naturally to you? I'll allow myself to play around with the memories that come rushing back. I do not think there is anything wrong with reflection. In fact, I think it is rather important to gather up all of things you have learned in order to best figure out how to be happy in the moments you are given. I am often told I should allow myself to relish in the present moment and to not worry so much about what has happened or what might happen. I agree with this wholeheartedly, I should absolutely appreciate the present moment. Especially the present moments that make me feel completely alive, in the best and worst ways. The kind of  moments when you tell yourself, "Remember this. Remember this as best as you can because it cannot last forever." Those are the moments that have become my favorite memories. And so, these are the memories, the good and the bad memories, that I think about because at one point I told myself to remember those moments.

It has been said that smell is the most prominent sense connected to memory. That is very true. There is a certain perfume I wear because my aunt used to wear it. Certain body washes and lotions remind me of all the different houses I have showered in. Weird, right? Smelling cigarette smoke on someone's clothes reminds me of college. Traveling to new places gives me the ability to figure out what the new place "smells like" i.e. salt water, car exhaust, sewage, etc. It's a funny thing, connecting smells to moments we have lived in. I don't know about you, but a huge connection to memories for me are songs. Of course, there are the songs you were listening to with someone or while thinking about someone. The songs you played when you didn't want to get out of bed, the songs you played to feel powerful, the songs you listen to on repeat because finally someone else understands exactly how you feel. But what about the song you play for the very first time, a song  you have truly never heard before,  but it strikes a nerve inside of you? You wonder how it is you have never heard this song before because it sounds like a memory. Your mind spirals back into long lost memories, to certain times with people in a place you loved. You feel every single feeling you  had in that moment coming back to you. And all because of this song you are listening to the first time.

This is the song. It takes me somewhere I used to know. It takes me to the girl I was in those moments I didn't want to forget. I'm glad I didn't forget.

Until next time,